Updated: Feb 12
On September 21st, I married the love of my life. Amber is a gift that I did not think I would ever receive. I always assumed my future was to be found in the woods alone, quietly living among the trees with ample reading material. I’m pleased to say I was wrong.
The psychological significance of the day was overwhelming.
During the ceremony, the officiate — my dear friend, Murph — had us turn toward the crowd as he asked them if they would support us in this endeavor. To be facing so many loved ones was powerful. All the shared experiences, conversations, joys and struggles, to look out at essentially my past and present — my tribe — and see the resounding support of so many meaningful relationships was a blessing.
I struggled to look out at the group; it was just too beautiful. Too much love. Too much happiness. Too much light. When the group resounded in their support, I felt the lip quiver. I had to look away. It was just too bright. There is an idea that if you were to actually gaze upon God, you would not be able to handle it. The magnificence would crush you.
…that’s what that experience felt like.
The day was the rite of passage that my soul needed. I felt the weight and responsibility of the ring. I was physically different. I suddenly had access to a deeper energy and was thrilled to feel a stronger obligation to bring joy and prosperity into our lives, an ethical imperative to succeed, both physically and spiritually, for my family.
I’ve always heard that weddings are more for the bride than the groom. In an effort to celebrate the individual, perhaps deservingly so, but psychologically, it is just as important for men. Maybe even more important. Amber needed no rite of passage. She already operates from a deep sense of love, compassion, and devotion.
But for myself, the day was a transition from one epoch to the next; it was the rite of passage that I needed to fully leave the land of lost boys and arrive on the shores of familial responsibility and love.
Thank you to all who made our wedding a perfect day. It was a gift.